Don’t panic…
I’m still alive. Just. It’s been a while, right? I think my last post was something to do with some chap called Adolf and how we really shouldn’t trust him? Yeah, something like that. “I hold in my hand..”, yeah put it down pal, he’s a shitpot and we know it.
I’ve been back to Egypt. Invariably, I got the shits. I didn’t tell Tripadvisor that though, as many do. I also discovered that one of the shoddiest looking airlines were actually quite excellent.
We flew with Jet2, who I have always classed in with the Ryanairs and Easyjets of this world. The thought of 6 hours on a ‘budget’ aircraft, with knees under chin, smelly oiks all around and an evil ginger child climbing on me filled me with dread. To prepare, I loaded my iPod with films, TV shows and as yet unheard albums. This was going to be bad, with a capital bad.
As we stood in line in the tunnel to board the aircraft (the ‘board by your seat number’ technique yet again failing miserably) we found that the staff were pleasant, smiling and quite good looking, in a budget airline kind of way. The female hostesses were even better, a-ha-ha-ha.
Entering the craft, we found leather covered seats the length and breadth of the plane. We sat in large, comfortable, spacious seats. Even the evil ginger child was impressed, and expertly unpacked her toys, crayons and Fisher Price climbing frame.
Much to my surprise, I could even stretch my legs out in front of me, giving unparalleled comfort for a budget airline. As takeoff approached, we discovered that the wife and I would have the luxury of three seats between the two of us, so once in the air we stretched and relaxed as we were whisked off to the land of pharoahs and pyramids.
Until the ginger child had other ideas, scaling the seats in front and plonking herself down with a thump on the spare seat, asking for a go on my iPod. Her parents, now sat in the two-person-three-seat configuration, laughed approvingly. The shits.
