Sunday January 10th
I watched 2 horrendous films. One was a low budget brit comedy about two dipshits who go on holiday and try to get a shag. It was shit, but it did no harm, had the odd plus point, don’t worry, it’s not like it cost $200m is it? That was ‘Kevin and Perry Go Large’.
The other, well, er, it was Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, or Transformers 2 to give it it’s correct title. This did cost $200m (or more). It was diabolical.
Robots that can shoot themselves in a ball of flame from outer space into a battle on earth with unflinching accuracy, but can’t fire a gun at a human from 12 feet? Check. Robots that wrestle and prod and poke like a sort of big robot alien Marx brothers BECAUSE ALIEN ROBOTS WHO HAVE COME FROM A WAR TORN WORLD WOULD BE ALL JOVIAL AND THAT WOULDN’T THEY? Check. A robot that has an English accent BECAUSE ALIEN ROBOTS WOULD HAVE REGIONAL ACCENTS WOULDN’T THEY? Check. A script nobody cared to check. Performances phoned in. Too many humans. What passes for a plot. Check, check check, check. Horrible. Don’t.
We were then treated to a child trying to break the world ‘going to the toilet but not having a wee but saying I need a wee’ record. The child was tenacious, and neglected to wee on all but one of the 8 occasions in 90 minutes. Then I made a chicken pie. Which was nice.
