Arse-assin’s Creed 2
I’ve just stopped playing Assassin’s Creed 2. Not because I finished it, not because I was stuck, but because I was thrown out of the deep, believable, immersive game environment like a drunk teenager being chucked out of the Madison.
AC2 began slowly. The tutorial missions went on, and on, and on, despite the fact that the controls were intuitive and often displayed on the screen anyway. The plot ambled along, revealing secrets and exposition at a glacial pace. However, this was made tolerable by the beautiful graphics, the convincing renaissance setting and the surprisingly good voice acting.
Once the training is over (maybe 2 hours later), you put your new found skills to good use, killing a high ranking politician in cold revenge, and then skipping to your uncle Mario’s house (“It’s a me! Mario!” Yeah, he really does say that. It’s brilliant.) eventually leading to adventures in new towns reached on horseback.
It’s then back to Florence, where the game began. Now a fully trained and notorious assassin, pickpocket and free-runner, you continue to seek revenge on those that murdered your father. To assist, you are told to enlist the services of the legendary ‘Fox’, or Volpe as his mam calls him. You speak, at length, with The Fox, who agrees to help but only for financial gain on his behalf.
And then the game spits you back into your bedroom.
“If you want me to help, you must beat me in a race.” he says, in his Dolmio advert Italian. What, really? A race? I’m offering you money, but you’ll only accept the money to do the job if I can spring across some rooftops quicker than you?
“Yes, and you have one minute exactly. Starting now!”
This ruined it for me. Was the business system of selling services really preceded by rooftop sprints in renaissance times? How did anybody get rich?
It completely spoiled the game for me. It’s sad that the designer’s couldn’t see this, and just remove the mission entirely. It makes an already long game 2 minutes longer. The mission immediately following it is an acrobatic sneak through some catacombs, but this horrible hat-tilt to GTA has ruined it.
I had high hopes, and was enjoying this against all expectation, but that’s it. No more Assassin’s Creed for me.
